I Grew Out of That!
by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky
Summary: Cartman is now facing a possible life sentence in jail, or the death penalty. Read on as a jury and judge decide what punishment he should face after being accused of attempting to kill one of his friends. Will the evidence be enough to convict him? Or will it be a hung jury? My first and last Kyman ever. Thank you.
1. Chapter 1

**I Grew Out of That!**

 **1**

It was the beginning of a new day. Ike Broflovski was planning on going to the library. He looked at his clock and saw that it was seven forty-two in the morning. He had gotten a very good night's sleep, and felt wonderful. His cell phone started ringing in his hand as he started sitting up. He slid his feet off the bed and onto the ground, and answered the call.

"Hello?" He put the phone to his ear lazily.

"Hello, is this Mr. Isaac Broflovski?" asked a male voice.

"Yes." Ike answered.

"Do you know a Kyle Broflovski?" he asked.

"He's my brother. May I ask who this is?" Ike asked as he stood up and started pacing the room. Should he start his final essay for his history class? Or should he start his Science report?

"This is John Casterline with the South Park Police Department." Said the man bringing Ike out of his thoughts.

"Aw shit. What did my brother do?" he asked bitterly. "I told him not to go with Stanley! I don't have any money for bail, and my parents are on their anniversary vacation." Ike explained. "I'm also a minor." He added bitterly.

"Son, please calm down, and let me speak. I have some bad news." The man said softly as Ike stopped pacing.

"Sup?" Ike asked.

"Your brother was found outside your home three hours ago, with his throat cut." The man explained.

"You're just kidding, right?" Ike asked sadly. "This is an April Fools joke?" he asked as his mouth went dry.

"No, son." The man answered. "I'm afraid it's all too real. Your brother is at Hell's pass right now."

"Why the hell did it take you three fucking hours to notify me?!" Ike shouted bitterly.

"The crime scene is right outside your house, and we didn't know if you or anyone else was inside. We would like you to use the gate at your backyard to get out of your house and come to hell's Pass. We don't want to disturb any of the evidence until we've been given an all-clear." The man instructed sadly.

"Thanks." Ike said numbly as he clicked the phone off.

In a state of total shock, he got dressed, and got ready to go. It would take him twenty minutes to get to the hospital from here. He would be there in no time.

Stan, Kenny, and Cartman were just waking up as well. All three youths were just opening their eyes to the day. Unaware of the accident that had occurred. They soon found out, however. All three of them received a text message at exactly the same time.

Ike had texted Kenny and Stan explaining what he knew. He was also instructing them all to head to Hell's Pass.

"Holy fuck." Kenny gasped. "Where the fuck was I?" he wondered out loud. Mysterion usually was at the scene of the crime when it was happening. He was usually able to save the victims, and apprehend the killer. What had gone wrong? He remembered. He had gotten too stoned yesterday, and had a bad experience. He swore the weed was laced with something unknown to him. He didn't remember getting home, but somehow, he had.

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan shouted as he read the message. "Cartman finally got him!" In a daze, he started getting dressed and prepared himself to head to Hell's Pass.

Eric Cartman opened his phone, and read the most recent text message. It was from Ike Broflovski.

'Cartman u fucking shit head. I no it was u. I'm going 2 get u & put u in jail if it kills me.' Ike had written.

'What the hell are you talking about, you stupid Jew?' Cartman wrote back.

'I'll get u 4 what u did 2 my brother.' Ike wrote back.

'I've been at my house the whole time, you rat!' Cartman wrote back bitterly. 'I didn't do shit!'

Ike replied within seconds. 'If my brother dies, u die 2. I will make sure of it. Mark my words, u bastard.'

Cartman stared. His phone rang in his hands, and he saw Kenny's name on the caller ID.

"Kenny?" he asked as he answered.

At twenty-four years old, the fat boy had become a giant compared to the others. Kenny stood at five ten, and Cartman was an even six feet tall. Kyle was the smallest standing at about five six, and Stan stood at five feet and nine inches. Cartman had lost all his weight and grown into a more average build. He was walking into the kitchen when Kenny called him.

"What do you want?" he asked. "I'm kind of busy here."

"Cartman, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you right now, and it can't wait." Kenny said bitterly. "I'm going to your house."

"What?" Cartman moaned. "Dude, I don't have any weed! I told you yesterday, I don't smoke!" Cartman shouted.

"Open the door, fat ass. I'm outside." Kenny said as the line went dead in Cartman's ear.

"God dammit! I want cereal!" Cartman shouted as he walked over to the door, and opened it.

Kenny came walking in. Cartman saw that he hadn't driven. There was no car in the drive way. He looked at Kenny as the youth came in, and gasped.

Kenny was white faced, and still in the clothing he had been in last night when Eric had seen him. He stared.

"You look like shit." Cartman commented sadly. "Did your date say no to sex?" he asked.

"Cut the bullshit, Cartman." Kenny said as Cartman closed the door.

"You normally call me by my first name." Cartman observed bitterly. "What's up?" he asked.

"Kyle."

"Yeah. I don't know what's going on with him. Ike texted me with a death threat." Cartman said bitterly. "I can't wait to tell Kyle his little brother—"

"—Kyle is in critical condition at Hell's Pass." Kenny explained. "He was found outside his house today a couple hours ago, with a slit throat."

"Oh man." Cartman gasped. "I don't wanna go to his funeral, death scares me." He said as his hands sweated at his sides.

"Cartman!" Kenny shouted trying to get his attention. "Everyone I've talked to is saying you did it." he explained.

"I would never hurt Kyle!" shouted Cartman bitterly.

As the years went on, the boy was able to lose his whiny voice and grow up a lot. The use of Cal for Kyle's first name disappeared altogether during the eighth grade.

"So where were you?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"I've been here the whole time!" shouted Cartman as he looked around at his house.

There was a knock at the door. Kenny turned around and walked to a window. He pulled open the curtain, and saw through a tiny crack who it was.

"Cartman, you better tell the truth. That's Officer Stephens at the door." He said bitterly. "He's the one you have to tell the truth to."

Cartman gasped as the door shook with the second knock.

"Open up! This is the South Park Police!" shouted the man. "You've got 'til the count of three!" he shouted.

Kenny watched as Cartman opened the door. Three armed men burst into the house nearly knocking Cartman over as they came barging in.

"Put your hands behind your back!" one of the men shouted pointing at Cartman. "You're under arrest!"

"Whoa!" Kenny shouted as he got in front of Cartman. "You boys don't even have a warrant!" he shouted.

The place was silent. Five seconds later, they were trying again to make Kenny move to get to Cartman.

"You guys are doing it all wrong!" Shouted Officer Stephens as he came walking into the house.

"Where were you?" Kenny asked bitterly. "I saw it was your patrol car, but you weren't in sight." He observed.

"I was answering a phone call." The officer explained. "Put those weapons away, you guys." Stephens said as the men all put away the weapons.

"Kenny, step aside." Stephens said as Kenny moved out of the way. "Eric, I need to have a word with you." He said bitterly as he took out a note pad and started writing.

"What's going on?" Cartman asked.

"We found Kyle Broflovski at his home today at around four thirty seven in the morning. Someone slit his throat, and attempted to kill him." Stephens explained. "Kyle is in critical condition right now, and it doesn't look good."

"I don't know why you guys think I did it, I was at home the whole time sleeping." Cartman recounted bitterly.

"Eric, your name was written on the sidewalk in Kyle's blood." The officer said as Kenny and Cartman gasped.

"That doesn't mean anything!" shouted Cartman defensively.

"Eric, Kyle had some of your hair in his hands. There was a glove found at the scene, and when we examined it carefully, we saw your initials on the tag." Stephens explained. "There's even more evidence, and it all points to you." He added as he looked into Eric's eyes.

"I didn't do it! My gloves were left in my car in the glove compartment, and my car was stolen yesterday!" Cartman shouted. "I have been at home this whole time!" he claimed as his face lost all color. "I wouldn't have a motive to kill Kyle!"

"Cartman," Kenny said bitterly. "Everyone knows about your relationship with Kyle. It's…, weird."

Cartman had the strongest hatred for Jews and anyone that wasn't white, Christian, or Catholic. As a boy, he had done a host of things to his classmates, Kyle, many of the grown folks of South Park, Kyle, his mother, Kyle, Kenny, and Kyle. So it was no wonder everyone thought that Cartman had gotten Kyle. When they were teens in high school, Kyle would often wake up to find Cartman sitting on a tree branch near his bedroom window. Once, Kyle even saw Cartman attempt to break in. When questioned about it, he claimed he was trying to make sure Kyle knew what to do during a break in, and declared that Kyle had passed his test. No one believed him, though. So now it was up to fate.

"You can search my house!" Cartman shouted as he trembled. "I didn't do it, and there's no ties to me! I was framed!" he accused.

"Was anyone here with you all night?" officer Stephens asked bitterly. "IS there anyone who can corroborate your alibi?"

Cartman stared dumb founded. "I've been alone all night." He whispered as his face fell. "My mom doesn't live here anymore. She went to live with the rest of my family in Nebraska." He muttered. "I haven't talked to her in a week." He said softly.

"So there is no one who can tell us with certainty, that you were here the whole night?" asked Kenny making sure.

"No." Cartman said softly. "There isn't."

Kenny and Cartman were told to wait outside as the police squad searched every inch of Cartman's house. Cartman was actually in tears.

"You believe me, Ken?" he asked.

"This isn't up to me, Cartman." Kenny said, still using the appellation that meant Cartman was in serious trouble.

"I know it isn't up to you! I just want to know if you believe me!" Cartman shouted through the tears.

"I don't know." Kenny confessed bitterly.

Cartman felt his throat grow too clogged by a giant lump. He felt tears slowly running down his cheeks, and didn't trust himself to speak. Kenny didn't believe him. And if Kyle died, he was doomed.

"I'm going to the hospital to see if Kyle's all right." Said Kenny bitterly.

Cartman nodded. He stood leaning against the garden wall as Kenny started to walk away. Suddenly, the cops were all swooping down on Cartman.

"Mr. Cartman," Officer Stephens looked white as he spoke. "I would like to ask you to please give yourself up for arrest."

"Why!?" Cartman shouted as he started trembling again.

"We need to hold you until we get this mess straightened out. We don't want to risk you skipping town." explained the officer bitterly.

"Can I post bail?" Cartman asked calming down.

"Yes. It'll be expensive, though. Half a million." Officer Stephens explained.

"I'll put my apartment up for collateral." Kenny suggested.

"Why?" Cartman and Stephens asked.

"Because I have known Eric Cartman all my life. And I have never seen any reaction like this when the guy denies something. If he denies it and he did it, I would know. I know all his tells." Kenny explained. "I am inclined to believe him when he says he didn't do it."

"Go to the station with him, and sign the paperwork, and we'll call it good then. Get yourself an attorney, boy." Said Stephens as they all got into the cop car.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

Ike was at Hell's Pass when Stan and Wendy came walking in. Ike was crying as he sat in a chair next to Kyle.

When he had come in, he had seen his older brother lying on the cot. His curls were matted in blood, and his face looked pale. They had to give him several transfusions to make sure he survived, and they had to stitch him up pretty good. The detectives and nurses all said it was very fortunate he survived. The killer didn't hit the jugular vein, or the carotid artery. If they had, Ike knew the consequences. Kyle would not be lying in that bed.

"How is he?" asked Stan as he came walking in.

"He's doing all right." Ike muttered. "He hasn't woken up, but his vitals are improving." He explained.

"Cartman's gone too far this time!" Wendy shouted bitterly. "We've all stood by the whole time as he did stupid shit and got let off easy! But this time, he's gone too far!" she scolded.

"It'll be all right." Said Stan softly. "We'll find out how this happened, and Kyle will wake up." He said bitterly.

That day everyone seemed to be at Hell's Pass to see if the Semite would wake. He didn't. Cartman and Kenny were at the police station for six whole hours as Cartman was interrogated, and his DNA was taken. Kenny was surprised at the willingness to comply from Cartman, and came to an even bigger decision that he believed his best friend. Cartman was cooperating with the Police more than any suspect would if they had done the crime.

Back at the Broflovski house, there were dozens of men taking pictures, and samples of the driveway where the crime occurred. Cartman's name was written in the sidewalk in Kyle's blood. One of Cartman's gloves had been found at the crime, and it had blood on it. On the outside and the inside. There was a slash on the glove as if the killer had cut themselves on the knife. The knife was found in Cartman's mother's room, wrapped in a plastic bag. No one had told Cartman this. Or anyone else for that matter. Hidden in the Cartman's mailbox was the second glove. This one was intact, and had blood only on the outside.

Cartman's car was found at a Denver club at around two forty-five that day. It was searched thoroughly. In it, there was more evidence. The boy had a tiny bag of pot with what looked to be two grams. His laptop was taken in for examination. The car was searched for any more trace evidence. Some of Kyle's hairs were found on the passenger seat. There was a total of six foreign hair types found in the back of the boy's car. However, there was none of Kyle's blood anywhere on that car. One of the detectives noticed that there was blood on the steering wheel, and on the driver side door handle. The surfaces were swabbed, and sent off to be tested. There was also a journal found in what looked like handwriting. The journal was a complete depiction of how Kyle had been attacked. In it, Kyle was referred to as, "that stupid gay Jew."

Kenny and Cartman went home six hours later. Cartman wanted to go visit Kyle.

"I really think you ought to stay away from there, until we know what we're up against." Kenny advised bitterly. "Because everyone there is going to beat you to a pulp."

"Do you really believe they all believe it was me?" Cartman asked as they got home.

"Cartman, I think it was you!" Kenny shouted firing up. "There is so much evidence against you, dude!" he shouted. "Even you have to believe it was you!"

"But you bailed me out!" Cartman shouted back as he and Kenny walked into the house.

"I believe you, Eric." Kenny said as he gently laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "But the evidence is unbelievable." He said softly. "I hope everything works out." He sighed.

For the next twenty-four hours, Cartman was the outcast. No one believed him. Everyone wanted him to stay away from Kyle. No one would tell him what was going on. Kenny was the only one who stuck with him.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Two days later, Kyle woke up. Ike was with him. The first word was Cartman's name.

"Kyle?" Ike asked as he watched his brother.

"Ike?" he gasped. "What happened to me?" he asked.

"What do you remember?" Ike asked softly.

"I was walking home from Kenny's house. I was babysitting him because he had called me over to his house last night. He said he thought that he'd smoke some bad weed. Cartman gave him some. Kenny had a really bad trip, or something." Kyle recounted. "So, I came home to get ready for my shift at Jim's drug, and that's when I was grabbed from behind." Kyle said bitterly. "I felt a lot of pressure in my chest, and then I felt like my insides got taken out. My throat hurt like hell, and I was out." He said softly as he tried to move.

"That's all you remember?" Ike asked.

"Yes." Kyle said sadly.

"Nothing else?" asked a different voice.

"No. Who are you?" Kyle asked as the detective came into view.

"I am detective Powers." She replied as she stood over Kyle.

"Detective?" gasped Kyle as he started to move frantically. "I don't know where it is! Stan's dog ate it! Cartman made me do it! Kenny's hiding him! I have the right to remain silent!" Kyle was hysterical.

"Kyle, stop!" Ike shouted as he placed a hand on Kyle's chest. "You were in an accident, and you're at Hell's Pass. You've been out for two days." He explained.

"Oh." Kyle muttered as he relaxed. "So…, you're not here to arrest me?" he asked.

"No!" said the lady with a laugh. "I have to ask you a couple questions. Do you think you're up for it?" she asked.

"Sure." Kyle said smiling. "Can I get some food?" he asked.

"I'll go ask the doctors and nurses if you can have solid food." Ike said as he got up and walked out of the room.

"So, what's this about?" Kyle asked.

"You were in an accident." Detective Powers explained.

"Yes, I am aware of that. What happened to me?" he shot back.

"I cannot tell you. No one can. We don't want to put any false memories in your head. So, no one is allowed to tell you until you're out of the hospital." She explained. "There's a burning question I have for you though."

"What?" Kyle asked sadly.

"Why was it that the first thing you said was "Cartman."?" she asked.

"Because I thought this was a prank. I thought for sure I would wake up in his room, or in Kenny's apartment, or something." Kyle explained.

"And you are absolutely sure you remember nothing?" she asked.

"Yes." Kyle said bitterly.

"When was the last time you spoke with Eric Cartman?" she asked.

"I spoke to him yesterday evening before leaving for Kenny's. He was really upset. He said that his car had been stolen, and he was in trouble because he was supposed to go to an interview with someone from Boulder University tomorrow. Tomorrow being actually tomorrow. Not the day after I spoke to him." Kyle explained. "I remember telling him that he should report the car stolen, but he refused. He said he wanted to wait for the person to return it. All his school stuff was in there. His laptop, some binders. I remember because he was really upset. This Boulder thing really meant a lot to him." Kyle said sadly. "When is someone going to be able to explain to me what's going on?" he asked.

"Just a moment." The lady said as she wrote down Kyle's story. "Hey, Kyle? Did you see anything before you got knocked out?" she asked.

"No." Kyle said softly. "The person who grabbed me was behind me."

Kyle waited for another twenty-four hours before Ike finally told him what happened. Kyle did not remember anything, even after the account of events. He was puzzled.

"Do you think it was Cartman?" Ike asked softly.

"It couldn't be. The dude was in too much panic over his shit being stolen to do much that night. We invited him over to Kenny's, and he refused to come. He was really looking forward to going to that interview." Kyle said sadly.

Ike told him the whole story. Even the evidence that they had found in Cartman's car, and in the drive way.

"That's impossible!" Kyle gasped. "There was no way I could've written the dude's name in blood. I was unconscious right away. I got knocked out. I didn't have time to leave messages in the dirt or whatever." He observed. "Hey, Ike?" he asked. "Who found me and called 911?" Kyle wondered.

"Sydney Coleman." Ike said smiling. "That girl saved your life." He said happily.

Kyle felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He also felt his face go white.

"What?" Ike asked.

"I need to talk to Detective Powers." Kyle said softly. "I think Cartman was framed."

"Really?" Ike said bitterly. "We all saw the evidence, and we know he did it. Dude, he had a journal of the whole accident planned out to the T." Ike explained. "It was him."

"I'm still going to talk to Ms. Powers." Kyle said softly. "Something doesn't smell right here. I smell a rat."


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

Kyle was in the hospital for a month. When he was released, his parents were already back, and praying for his safe recovery. Everyone accept Cartman had come to visit him. When Kyle wondered about that, Ike and the rest of his family agreed that it wasn't best to have Cartman visit him. No one believed Kyle. They thought he was full of it, and delirious. Ike even accused him of developing a minor case of Stockholm Syndrome. He wasn't able to talk to the detective because she was too busy doing the investigation into the crime. So, the first thing he did when he was let out was head to Cartman's house.

Cartman wasn't there. Kyle found him at Kenny's place, where he had been staying that month. He stayed there to make sure someone knew where he was at all times. Kenny answered the door, and Cartman was sleeping in Kenny's room.

Kenny gently wrapped Kyle up in a hug when the door was closed behind him. He was so happy to see his best friend.

"I'm so glad you're alive, Kylee." Kenny said smiling at Kyle as he let him go. It was a nickname given to Kyle after Kyle had come out to his friends six months ago.

"I'm glad I'm alive too." Kyle said as he and Kenny walked into the living room. "How's Cartman?" he asked.

"He's been very depressed lately. He missed his interview at Boulder, and he got all his shit taken to the labs in Quantico for examination." Kenny said sadly. "Not to mention everyone thinks it was him."

"It wasn't him." Kyle said as he looked into Kenny's eyes.

"So, you know who it was?" Kenny asked.

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I just know it couldn't have been Cartman." He explained bitterly. "Go wake him up."

"I did that already once. I regretted it instantly." Kenny said grumpily. "If you want, you go wake him up, man." He said as he sat down on his couch.

Kyle did just that. He walked into Kenny's room, and shook the broad shoulders of the youth lying on Kenny's bed. Cartman lifted his head, and opened his eyes.

"Kyle!" he gasped. "Kyle, you're out! And alive! And out!" he shouted as he got up.

In what was the most strangest display of affection in the history of the couple's friendship, Cartman gathered Kyle up in his strong arms and held him close. He hugged the small ginger gently as they stood there. Since Cartman was a lot taller than Kyle, Kyle was actually not even on the ground anymore. He was being cradled by the racist Eric Cartman.

This was a different person entirely. He was crying, and holding Kyle very close. Too close.

"I'm so glad you're alive." He said softly. "I am so glad you're alive." He sighed as he put him down.

"I didn't do it." he said as they both walked into the living room and sat with Kenny. "You have to believe me, Kyle, I would never want you dead. I grew out of that!" he said bitterly.

"That's why I came to visit you." Kyle said bitterly. "I think I know who tried to kill me." He confessed.

It was a Saturday when Kyle had been released and gone to see Cartman and Kenny. So they all had to wait until Monday to go see the detective, and Cartman's attorney. The time couldn't have flown by slower if it tried.

Soon, Kenny, and Cartman were piling into Cartman's attorney's office. He had gotten the best attorney he could find in the neighboring county of West Park. Her name was Ellen Baker. She was a thin tall Caucasian lady who had long blonde hair, and always wore gold hoop earrings. Her nails were always a gentle pink color.

"Hello, Mr. Broflovski." She said smiling as she shook Kyle's hand. "Kenny…, Eric." She said as she nodded at Kenny and Eric.

"Please. Call me Kyle." Kyle said as he closed the door of her office behind himself.

"What brings you three in today?" she asked.

"I believe Cartman was framed." Kyle said without waiting for anyone to say anything else. "I think they're looking at the wrong killer."

"Did you get a look at your assailant?" she asked hopeful.

"No." Kyle said sadly. "But here's what I know."

He explained that one of the biggest things that didn't make sense was the name written in the sidewalk next to Kyle. Kyle couldn't have written Cartman's name in the dirt, because he was knocked out right away. He told Cartman's attorney about the suspicion that he had.

One of the girls from North Park was in love with him. She would show up randomly wherever he was, she would tag along with him wherever he went, and she was just too clingy. Kyle had told her a week ago that he was gay. He told her he didn't have any interest in her, and could she please leave him alone. She took it pretty hard, and kept calling him and trying to get him to "Straighten out." As she put it. He refused. He blocked her from his phone, and he made a point of trying to avoid her if he saw her. She showed up with flowers, candies, diabetic foods, and all kinds of things to try and get Kyle for that remainder of the week before Kyle's accident. Kyle was actually at a point where he was thinking about a restraining order. He hadn't gotten far, though. He was assaulted, and had his throat slit two days later.

"There's only one problem with your theory." Ellen said as she stared at them all across her desk. "Eric's belongings and other evidence tie him to the crime." She explained sadly.

"No, I don't think so." Kyle said as he tried to push on. "There's one other thing that bothers me." Kyle said as he started to fidget in his chair. "Kenny was given a bag of weed from her that night at the club. He took it, because he was out."

"I was desperate." Kenny muttered. "It was a moment of weakness. She also said it was from Cartman."

"Cartman doesn't smoke weed. Or anything. Anyway, Kenny took her weed, and smoked it, and felt different. He called me and told me all about it. Cartman was at his house this whole time, being a party pooper. His car and his stuff had been stolen. He was depressed, and rightfully so. He was going to miss his interview at Boulder if he didn't get his stuff back. I took care of Kenny, who felt really bad and told me to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. He felt like his body was morphing into some hideous monster. I had to hold him at one point and make sure he didn't try and pull his hair out. The weed was laced. At one point in time, Kenny passed out so hard. Nothing could wake him up. I had to go to work, and I knew I needed to leave him. I got a phone call from Sydney just as I closed Kenny's door. I blocked her, but she got a new cell phone, and I accidentally answered. I told her I was headed home. She said something to the effect of, "Be careful. You don't wanna get hurt out there, do you? Gay men are targeted more frequently." I remember feeling like throwing up. I was paranoid. I didn't know what to do, but knew I needed to go to my house because I had to get ready for my shift at Jim's Drug." He explained. "That's when it all happened. All I remember is, I got grabbed from behind, and suddenly, I woke up in the hospital." He explained.

"The DNA results come back next week. We'll see then. In the meantime, Kenny, do you still have a bag of that weed you said you had from Sydney?" she asked.

"Yeah. I have the bag and there's still a lot of weed there in it." Kenny said bitterly. "I didn't really want to smoke the rest of it after that one night."

"Lucky us, you kept it. I want you to go get it, and bring it to me. I'll send it off to a lab, and we'll have it swiped for prints and all that good jazz. We can find out if it was laced." She said as she finished writing notes.

The boys were told to go home and do what they needed to do. The case was going to be looked at a little deeper by the attorney. She had given them her word.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

The next day, Kenny went to the attorney's office and dropped off the little bag of weed. It couldn't have been preserved any better. The weed was in a small mason jar, and the bag hadn't been touched by Kenny. So if the weed was laced, and there was fingerprints, they would know.

The evidence was back a week later from the rest of the contents. And as Cartman had said, he had not done it.

The pair of gloves that Cartman had said were in the glove compartment of his car was swabbed. On the outside, was Kyle's blood. In the inside of one of the gloves, was Cartman's DNA. On the inside of the torn glove, was a different DNA than Cartman's. Cartman's DNA was there, but it wasn't his blood in the glove. He was also examined, and there was no wound on Cartman's left hand from the knife. The knife was covered in two types of blood. One was Kyles, and the other was the same blood that they couldn't match yet. The steering wheel of Cartman's car was swabbed, and it wasn't Cartman's blood on it. It wasn't his blood on the door either. The same random blood kept coming up, and no one could identify it. The hairs in Cartman's car turned out to be a mixture. There were hairs belonging to Kyle, Kenny, Stan, Wendy, and Even Bebe. But no one else.

Suddenly, the whole case was turned upside-down. All the surface evidence had pointed to Cartman. Yet nothing matched. Everyone who was working the case was amazed, and confused. That only left one thing.

Detective Powers and officer Casterline went down to North Park to interview the girl that Kyle had mentioned. She refused to talk to police. They tried to get a court order for her DNA, but they couldn't. Her lawyer said that the phone call right before the accident didn't make Sydney the one who committed the crime. So they couldn't obtain the DNA sample. Or the phone records.

Another month passed before anything happened. Kyle was still recovering, and Cartman was finally let off the hook. The police force was still trying to figure out who had done it. Even if Kyle had not died, this would be attempted murder, and it would mean a jail sentence for the one who did it.

The marijuana that Kenny handed over to Cartman's attorney had been examined. They found a set of very clear prints on the bag. Two thumb prints and a partial palm print. The contents inside had been tampered with and laced with Phencyclidine, also known as PCP. This would explain why Kenny felt so strange after smoking the weed.

The finger prints were ran through AFIS, or Automated Fingerprint Identification System. There was no match. The person hadn't previously committed any crimes. The case was cold. As the time went on, the case got even colder.

Six months after Kyle had been found at his house nearly dead, there was a visitor at Ellen Baker's office. He claimed to know Sydney Coleman, and said he was the roommate. His name was Tyler Jameson. He was very pale when he came walking into the office.

"How may I help you, Mr. Jameson?" Ellen asked as she stood to shake his hand.

"I'm here because I have some important information that might help you solve the crime my roommate is suspected of participating in." he said timidly.

"Have a seat, and we can talk about this." She said smiling at him as he sat down. "Would you like some water?" she asked.

"No, thank you." He said as he looked down at his hands.

"So, Mr. Jameson, will you tell me your story?" she asked.

"Yes." He said as he started to straighten up and gather more confidence. "I would like to be recorded." He requested as he looked around.

"All right." She said as she grabbed a web cam, and started recording.

"I moved into the house where she's currently living about six months ago. Right around the time Kyle Broflovski was attacked. She attempted to hit on me, and I told her I didn't have any sexual interest in her. She grumbled something about how if I didn't be careful, I was going to end up "Just like that little Jewish brat." I just left it alone, thinking it wasn't anything serious. But last week, I overheard her talking to her current boyfriend. She was telling the guy on Skype, exactly how the crime was committed. She mentioned all this stuff that hadn't been on the news, and I was scared. I asked her how she knew about the crime, and she told me that she was in touch with Eric Cartman, who had done the crime. She told me not to ask her anymore questions and just keep my mouth shut. So I came to you."

"Why didn't you come to us with this information six months ago?" Ellen asked.

"I did. I talked to Officer Casterline, but he told me that a threat wasn't enough, and to let it go." The youth proceeded to imitate Officer Casterline. "If you don't like your roommate, kid, move out. I'm busy with the Broflovski case, trying to convict Eric Cartman. Finally."

Ellen nodded. "So, why did you wait until today?" she asked.

"Because you weren't at work during the weekend when it happened. I also brought this." He said as he produced a cardboard box.

Ellen opened the box, and looked inside. There was a dirty plate, and a glass beside it. The glass smelled like it contained orange juice at one point. She smiled at him.

"Kid, this is illegal." She said grinning. "This won't be admissible in court." She explained.

"What?! Her DNA is all over it! And so are her prints!" he shouted.

"Yes, I know. It's the treasure that could seal this case. Trust me. But it won't work. I had no permission to obtain the DNA and it didn't come from a public garbage can." She explained. "Even if the prints and DNA matched, it isn't legal, and won't count."

"No! There's got to be a loop hole!" shouted the man face palming.

"Why do you care, anyway?" she asked.

"Because she's making my life miserable! All because I won't go out with her. She's got a current boyfriend, but she hates me." He moaned.

"Sorry, kid." Said the attorney sadly. "I'm unable to do anything much." She explained.

"Dammit!" he said as he got up. "I even made sure not to touch the dishes!" he moaned.

"Thanks for coming. I'll make sure to try and see if I can get a court order to obtain her DNA and all that." Ellen said as she helped him get the dishes closed up again.

"Before you go, can you tell me what she said to her friend?" she asked.

"I came in to earshot when she was saying, "They found a journal at the crime scene showing how he was killed." I know for a fact that the paper and TV never said anything about a journal." Tyler explained.

"You don't say." Ellen said as she started typing stuff in her computer. "I'm glad you came to me with this. Is there anything else you need to tell me?" she asked.

"No. That's all I heard. I just know she had something to do with the guy's attack." He explained.

"If I set you up with a wire, would you be willing to talk to her for me?" Ellen asked.

"Yes." Tyler said simply without hesitation.

"I'll talk to Detective Powers, and Officer Casterline, and we'll see what happens." She said determined. "Leave your number with me, and I'll give you my card. If you have any other information, you can contact me." She said as she and Tyler stood.

He gave her his number, and she gave him hers. Five minutes later, he was gone, and Ellen Baker struggled to keep it together. There went two dishes with DNA evidence on them. Damn.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

Another two weeks passed before the next big event. Tyler was to meet Detective Powers for the conference with Sydney. He and the detective went to the Dairy Queen in North Park, and got set up. Tyler got his wire and made sure everything was in working order. The place was not so crowded that the sound would be distorted. Powers left to her car, and pretended to eat her meal in peace. She turned on her recording equipment, and listened. Just as she was looking out the window, she saw it. The door was pulled open by a tall black female. She walked in. Her hair was just like the one strand of hair they had from the file of Kyle Broflovski. She waited

"Hey, Tyler." Said the voice as there was moving and the sound of chairs being adjusted. "How long have you been here?" she asked.

"Oh, hey, Sydney. About fifteen minutes. I ordered five minutes ago though." He said smiling.

"So why did you invite me here?" she asked.

"I heard you broke up with Dominique, and I wanted to try and cheer you up." He said without hesitation.

"Oh. Well…, thank you. I thought you were a fat fuck two seconds ago. I almost ditched you." She said sighing. "I'm glad I didn't though. Thanks."

"I'm paying. Wanna get food?" he asked.

"Sure." She replied happily.

Five minutes later they were sitting down to eat. Powers was careful to follow every word. It was boring for the first ten minutes, as they talked about inconsequential bullshit. Powers knew it was worth it though. Especially if this was the real culprit.

"So, I have a question." Tyler said seriously after they had finished laughing about some comment she had made. "Why didn't you kill me like you tried to kill Kyle?" he asked softly. Powers guessed that he was leaning in to talk to her. Because their voices were quieter, but you could still hear them.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

"Dude, I just wanna know why you didn't kill me." Tyler said softly.

"How do you…, I don't know what you're talking about." She said as she scooted her chair away. "I'm leaving."

"No, wait. I overheard you talking to Dominique, and I know everything." He explained. "I could go to the police with it all." He added.

"You have no evidence." She said bitterly. "You wanna know why I haven't killed you yet? I need your fucking ass to pay for some of the rent, and utilities." She explained.

"Oh." Tyler sighed. "So, why did you try and kill Kyle?" he asked.

"Because, he rejected me. No one rejects me. I reject them. No one dumps me, either. Dominique is next on the list." She said bitterly. "I just don't have anyone else to frame with the crime yet. I'm working on it."

"How come it took you a short time to plan out Kyle's death?" Tyler asked confused.

"Because everyone in South Park and the surrounding areas hates Eric Cartman. Everyone fears him. I really thought they would've taken him to jail by now. I bet someone was bribed." She muttered.

"Well, maybe they know something." Tyler said sadly.

"They don't. They tried to ask me questions a while ago, but I didn't cave. I am not going to be put to jail for something Cartman did." She spat.

"You just said that Cartman didn't do it." said Tyler bitterly.

"Yeah, but only you, me and Dominique know that. Dominique is about to die soon, so that should take care of that." She said bitterly.

"That's enough, Tyler." Ms. Powers said into her mic. "Come to the car before something happens to you." She said bitterly. "I've got all I need."

She waited for Tyler to finish with his meeting. He ate, and talked with her. He sat and entertained her for a while. Finally, it was time to go. For her, at least.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to the store. I need to shop for toilet paper and other stuff. It's my turn this month, as you were so kind to remind me." He said sadly.

"I'm headed back to the house." She said as she stood and got ready to go.

"I'll see you there." He replied. "You taking your trash?" he asked.

"Nah. The bus boy can get it." she said bitterly. "I don't throw away trash."

Before he could reply, she was gone. "There aren't bus boys at Dairy Queen." He muttered.

Evelyn powers got out of her car as fast as she could. She was inside the fast food restaurant in record time and at Tyler's side even faster.

"Don't throw away that trash." She said in a huff as she tried to catch her breath.

"So, tell me again how this isn't illegal?" Tyler asked.

"Because," she was coughing and gasping. "it's public now. As soon as she left, she relinquished her right to that trash. It's garbage, and we can confiscate it for whatever we want. It's got a treasure trove of DNA I want tested ASAP." She said bitterly as she and Tyler scooped up the trash and left the tray.

Five minutes later they were on their way to the police station. This was the most bizarre case Evelyn Powers had ever worked.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

A whole month passed without incident. They tracked Dominique down, and hid him for his own protection. She had no idea where he was. That month was the month the DNA results came back. … It was a match.

The blood on the knife belonged to Kyle, and Sydney. The blood on the inside of the glove was also hers. The blood on the steering wheel was also hers. Since they got her prints from the trash at Dairy Queen, they could match it to the prints in Cartman's car. They were all hers. After careful investigation, they discovered that the booklet detailing Kyle's death was not typed on Cartman's laptop. They knew exactly where to go to find the computer it was typed on.

There was a knock on the door of the little garage apartment Tyler Jameson and his roommate shared. He walked over and opened the door since he was feeding the cat. He gasped.

"My name is officer Stephens. We have a warrant to search this house." The man explained.

"Uh, okay." Tyler looked around. "I have too much stuff to go through." He explained.

"We'll be the judge of that." Said the officer as he came in and went to the first room in sight. Sydney's room. "Where is Sydney Coleman right now?" he asked.

"She went to Bernie's." Tyler said nervously.

"That bar on Main?" asked another police officer.

"That very one." Tyler said smiling.

Her room was torn apart for evidence. They seized her laptop, and they seized her weed. They took a bunch of other stuff too. Tyler didn't know whether to run or stay. He moaned after they left. They had left a notice on her door. Thankfully they hadn't gone through his room. Right now it was a maze of old unpacked boxes, and other garbage.

Her laptop was examined for evidence, and though it had been deleted, they found the exact copy of the journal detailing how Kyle Broflovski was to be killed. They found a lot of other plans to get rid of anyone suspected of knowing about the crime. They got a court order for her phone records, and found that the last call made before Kyle was attacked was at a cell phone tower close to where Kyle lived. Strange thing, because she lived in North Park. So why would she be near Kyle's house? There was also another call made to 911 from her phone right after the attack took place. They had enough for a trial, and an arrest.

Friday that week, she was arrested, and held without bail. She kept saying that it wasn't her, and they had no evidence. What she didn't know is they had a treasure chest full of evidence. They scheduled the trial a month after that. In order to give everyone time to prepare. More than half a year later, they had caught the killer. And eight months after that, the trial was set to begin.

Eric Cartman was one of the most nervous individuals anyone had ever seen the night before the trial. He was so nervous, Kenny had to try anything he could to calm him down.

"You know they won't convict you." Kenny said as they walked to Starks pond.

"You don't know that." Cartman muttered as he tried to relax.

"Eric, there is so much evidence that ties her to the crime. The fact that all your stuff was there won't matter when the other stuff is presented."

The jury for this trial was a bit hard to come up with. Everyone in South Park, West Park, North Park, and Middle Park knew the victim, and the defendants. So they had to get people from Denver and the surrounding Colorado areas in order to construct an unbiased jury. It wasn't the toughest thing they'd ever had to do. It was pretty simple. Hopefully, Cartman wouldn't be convicted.

"Hey." Said a couple of voices as Kenny and Cartman walked into the clearing at Starks pond.

Kyle and Ike were both sitting on a log. Kenny sat down on a tree stump, and Cartman took the boulder nearby as a seat.

"You couldn't sleep, huh?" asked Kyle bitterly.

"Sleep? I can't even hear myself think through this guy's hysteria." Kenny complained.

"Shut up." Cartman muttered as he sat there with his head down.

"Cartman, dude. Chill out. You're gonna be fine." Kenny said sadly.

"Yeah. Everything will be okay." Kyle added reassuringly.

"I'm sorry I was mean to you." Ike apologized sadly. "I really did think it was you."

"So did the whole world." Cartman muttered still hanging his head. "I grew out of that, though." He repeated.

"Is that your catch phrase until this is all over?" Kenny asked smiling.

"Fuck you." Cartman replied bitterly.

"Real Mature, Cartman." Kyle said with a smirk.

"Just calm down, Eric, everything will work in your favor." Kenny said trying to avoid an argument from Kyle and Cartman.

"I bet it will." Ike chimed in. "You didn't do it, and the evidence is in your favor."

"Yeah." Cartman said sadly. "I'm just afraid she could…, I don't know. Bribe the jury or something."

"The jury is not permitted to talk to any of us before the trial, or anyone we know." Kyle explained.

"How do they know no one will talk to us?" Cartman asked.

"Because it's strictly monitored. They do it so no one will be able to do just that. Bribe them or tell them things they shouldn't know until the trial." he explained.

"Great." Cartman said bitterly. "She'll just bribe them during a recess or something."

"You know what!?" Kenny said loudly. "I'm getting tired of your attitude, Cartman! We're all doing our best to help you, and you will get off!" he shouted. "I'm tired of your defeatist bullshit!"

"It's not my fault!" Cartman shouted bitterly. "It's my word against hers!"

"Exactly." Kyle said calmly as he stood up and walked over to Cartman. "Your word against hers. You did not do it, and there is plenty to show it. You will be fine." He said hopefully. "Just calm down, and be relaxed. Or this will get the better of you." He predicted.

It was no use. Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Ike didn't get any sleep that night. It was one of the worst nights for them ever. No one was worried they would convict Cartman. They were just nervous as all hell. This was the first criminal trial they had all been involved in.


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

The next day was a Thursday. They all got up early to get ready to go. The trial was scheduled to begin at ten in the morning. Hopefully there wouldn't be delays or any other hitches.

"Eat, Eric." Kenny encouraged. "I ate."

"I don't feel hungry." Cartman muttered sadly.

"You're going to fall apart if you don't eat." Kenny said as he shoved a bowl of oatmeal at Cartman. "Kyle came over last night, and made the oatmeal. He told me all I had to do was just heat it up for today."

"What, you can't cook?" Cartman asked.

"Kyle always cooks for me. I burn water." Kenny explained. "Now, eat some, and quick. We have to run soon if we wanna be there on time." Kenny said as he walked off to get ready to go.

Before they knew it, it was time. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were walking into the court room. The seats were all filled accept for the four that were for them. Sydney wasn't there yet. Neither was the jury or the judge. It looked like only the family members and some other familiar faces were there. Cartman sighed as he sat down next to Kenny. He watched Bebe and Wendy file in five minutes before the trial was supposed to start.

"All arise!" shouted a voice.

Everyone stood as the bailiff and the judge came walking in. The bailiff was a tall lanky man who looked like he could break you with one hand tied behind his back. He had short blond hair, and was wearing a suit. He smiled at Cartman as he locked eyes with him.

"Who's he?" Kenny whispered.

"I have no clue." Cartman said softly. "That's the whole point, remember? We don't know them."

"Court will come to order! The honorable Judge Vortex now presiding." He shouted as the Judge took his seat. "Everyone, please be seated." He ordered.

Just as everyone sat down, Sydney and her lawyer came walking in. She had handcuffs behind her back holding her hands together.

"Everyone is finally here." Judge Vortex said as he looked around. "Let's get this over with, so I can go have Sushi." He ordered bitterly.

"The case of Sydney Coleman Versus Park County district is now in session." Judge Vortex said as he banged his gavel. "Sydney Coleman, you stand accused of the attempted murder of Kyle Brofslovski, and conspiracy to murder Mr. Dominique Jackson." He turned to her. "How do you plead?" he asked.

"Not guilty." She said bitterly.

"We will now hear from the prosecution." Judge Vortex said as he looked over at the group representing Cartman. "I see there are multiple attorneys here. One of you, please come to the stand, and tell us what you need to tell us. DO it before the little hand goes to the twelve." The man said as he looked at the clock on the wall.

"He's so excited about this trial." Kenny said in a whisper to Cartman. "He's out of control. Someone call the cops."

"I heard that, Mr. McCormick!" shouted the man as he banged his gavel. "No more lip from you!" he ordered.

"Wait!" Kenny gasped. "You can hear me…, from all the way over there?"

"Focus!" Cartman yelled as he elbowed Kenny in the ribs.

"Order!" shouted Vortex as he looked at the entire audience. "Please have someone step over here and tell us the story, now!" he barked.

Ellen Baker stepped over to the podium and shuffled her notes in her hands as she looked around. She cleared her throat, took one deep breath, and started.

"In the name and by authority of Park County, the dually organized grand jury of Park County Colorado—"

"—Move it along, Ms. Baker, I haven't got all day." The man said bitterly.

"Damn, dogg. You should retire." Kenny muttered.

"Please remove yourself from the court room, Mr. McCormick!" shouted the judge standing up.

"No!" Cartman said as he felt tears fall from his eyes. He wrapped an arm around Kenny's shoulders. "He'll shut up, I swear it! Kenny, Please shut up!" he sobbed. "I need you right now, man. You ain't gon' do me no good waiting outside the court room!" he pleaded. "Sorry!" he shouted at the judge. "Won't happen again."

"as I was saying," Ellen said as she shuffled her papers. "Sydney Coleman, hereafter known as the defendant, heretofore on or about March 13th, 2014, did then and there unlawfully intentionally and knowingly attempt to cause the death of Kyle G. Broflovski, hereinafter known as the victim, by slitting the victim's throat with a knife and leaving him for dead.

"It is further presented that in South Park county, Sydney Coleman, hereafter known as the defendant, heretofore on or about March 13th, 2014, did then and there unlawfully intend to cause serious bodily harm to Kyle G. Broflovski, hereinafter known as the victim, and did cause serious injury to the victim, by intentionally and knowingly committing an act clearly dangerous to human life, namely, by cutting the victim's throat with a knife.

"Sydney Coleman is a killer. The evidence in this case presented hereafter will show you this.

"On March 13th, 2014, in the quietest part of the morning, when all the animals given to us on this Earth by the Creator have begun to awake, it was a dull spring morning. The victim had decided to journey home from a friend's house. He had been there keeping said friend company, and needed to get back home in order to begin the next work day. You're going to hear testimony that on this fine morning, there lay in wait a killer. Scoping out the victim's house waiting for said victim to arrive. Kyle Broflovski is going to testify and tell you what happened that day. Kyle is going to tell you that at approximately four twenty five that morning, he received a call from an unknown number. Wondering who could be calling him that early, he answered the phone. Kyle is also going to tell you that the caller was none other than the defendant. Calling to warn and/or threaten him, telling him that homosexuals are the first ones to be targeted during that time frame. Kyle is also going to tell you that after he hung up his cell phone, ending the call, he approached his house intending to enter said dwelling. He will then proceed to tell you that at approximately four thirty two, he was attacked from behind. Kyle will testify that during the attack, he lost consciousness, but not before he could feel a pain in his throat. Police evidence including tape recordings and pictures, will also show us that the defendant placed a call shortly after, alerting the police of said crime. Officer Stephens and crew will testify that at approximately four thirty seven in the morning, Kyle was found in his drive way, with a slit throat, hanging on to life by a thread. Friends and family of the victim will testify as to the motive of the defendant. Detective Powers and team will also testify with forensic evidence showing why the defendant committed this crime, and that indeed it was she who committed said crime. The state will bring you all of the DNA evidence, and fingerprints collected at the scene. The evidence is going to show that Eric Cartman, hereafter known as the accused, was suspected of committing said crime. However, you will hear testimony from Mr. Cartman explaining why it is that he could not have committed said crime. Mr. Cartman and friends will testify that he had an alibi for that night, and also that his vehicle was stolen. Further evidence will also show you that the defendant was actually at the scene of the crime longer than she claimed to be."

"Does the defense have an opening statement?" Judge Vortex asked.

"We do your honor." Said a man as he stood up. "Miss Baker." He said as they passed each other.

"Mr. Langley." The lady replied without feeling intimidated.

"May I request a recess?" Cartman asked. "I'm really in need of a bathroom." He explained.

"No!" the judge shouted bitterly.

"Okay!" Cartman shrieked as he shrank back.

"Eric, the recess normally comes after the opening statements have been issued." Detective Powers said softly as she squeezed her client's shoulder.

"Go on, Mr. Langley." Said the judge bitterly. "Remember, before the little hand goes to the twelve." He said as he looked at the big clock on the wall again.

"Good morning. My name is Mark Langley. It is my great pleasure to represent Sydney Coleman on this very important case. The defendant stands here, falsely accused of cutting the victim's throat with a knife and attempting murder. This is a very serious crime. At the conclusion of this case we will ask for a verdict of not guilty.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, this case is about mistaken identity. The state has claimed that they have sufficient evidence that places my client at the scene of the crime. However, this supposed evidence is falsified or incorrect. The state claims that they have fingerprints to corroborate their story. However, giving someone a bag of marijuana and making a few phone calls does not a killer make.

"The defense will call two witnesses to the stand. Mr. Tenorman, who is a victim of the accused, and can tell you what he is capable of. We will also call to the stand Mr. Derekson, who will tell you that my client has no motive to hurt the victim.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, at the conclusion of this trial, we will ask you to find the defendant not guilty. There is not enough evidence to convict my client, and the state has not enough proof." He said as he nodded at the jury. He bowed, and stepped away.

"There will now be a recess." The judge said as he stood up. "I need to get some coffee." He grumbled.

Cartman ran out of the court room before anyone could say anything. Kenny and the rest of the family converged on the attorney. Everyone was talking all at once, and Ellen Baker didn't say very much. She couldn't do or say very much, as her nerves were getting the better of her. Cartman returned two minutes later. He smiled as he walked up to the queue.

"So, what?" he asked bitterly. "What are we going to do now?" he asked.

"Well, as soon as the judge gets back, we'll get down to business." Said Ellen as she rubbed her hands. "I'll start calling witnesses, and if he wants to, Langley will start cross examining them." She said bitterly.

"You all right, babe?" Kenny asked as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Kenny, I'm twice your age, and I'm not looking for a date." She said smiling at him.

"I am not hitting on you!" he said as he took his hand away.

"Sure you aren't. And Sydney didn't slit Kyle's throat." Ike said under his breath.

"To answer your question, no." Ellen said bitterly. "I've never won a case against Mark Langley. Ever." She confessed.

"I'm doomed." Cartman said as he pretended to faint.

"I took up this case before Langley did." She said softly as Kenny tried to get Eric to calm down. "I bet he knew I was taking the case, and took it just to intimidate me." She muttered bitterly.

"I'm here!" shouted a voice. "Is it too late?"

Everyone turned and looked at the arrival. It was Leanne Cartman. She was dressed in a pair of black slacks, and a dress shirt. She wore nice black dress shoes. Cartman gasped.

"Mom?" he gasped.

"I came as soon as I could." She said as she came running up to the queue of people. "Who's the attorney for the case?" she asked.

"She is." Cartman said as she looked over at Ellen.

"I have something that I think you might want to look at." Leanne said as she handed a note to the attorney.

"Oh crap." Ellen said as she put the note in her pocket. "I suddenly feel a whole lot better about this case." She said smirking.

"Don't be so sure." Langley said as he came walking over. "I've won every case against you, dearest girl." He taunted.

"You won't win this one." She said with a secretive smile on her face.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

"Everyone to their seats!" the judge shouted bitterly. "I wanna get this over with before the Sushi bar at the store closes. I am dying for sushi." He proclaimed.

"The prosecution will now call witnesses to the stand." He ordered.

Ellen got up and walked up to where the judge was. She cleared her throat with a giant grin on her face. "I'd like to call Kenny McCormick to the stand." She requested.

Kenny squeezed his friend's shoulder, and got up. He walked off to the podium, and stood in front of the judge and Ms. Baker.

The judge took out his bible, and held it up. Kenny placed his right hand on it.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" asked the judge.

"I do." Kenny said as he stood there calmly.

"Are you aware that under Colorado law, if you are found to be lying, or tampering with evidence or testimony, you will be thrown in jail, and fined?" he asked.

"No, but I am now." Kenny said grinning.

"Focus, son." The judge said as he took the bible. "You may begin." He said as he looked at Ellen.

"Will you please tell us your legal name?" asked Ellen.

"Kenneth Stuart McCormick." Kenny replied.

"Thank you." She said smartly. "Kenneth, please tell the jury where you were on the night of March 12th, 2014."

"I went to Bernie's." he explained. "I was looking for someone to sell me some weed." He muttered softly.

"Wasn't there anyone in South Park who would sell you anything?" asked Ellen bitterly.

"No, ma'am." Kenny said as he lifted his head. "Everyone I went to was dry. No one had a bowl on them." He explained. "I wanted to go to West Park, but I found a couple guys from North Park who said they would sell me some for cheap. I ended up getting a bit of weed. I got some for cheap from this guy named Gregory Rezinski, and I got some from Sydney as well." He said simply.

"Did you pay for Mr. Rezinski's weed?" asked Ms. Baker.

"Yes. I got six grams from him, which was all he had, and I paid fifteen bucks a gram." Kenny explained.

"What about Sydney?" Ellen asked.

"I got two grams from her. She said that she didn't want any weed, because she was trying to clean her system out. So I took the weed, which she said Cartman had given her. After that, I went home. I didn't have very much on me after the sale between me and Rezinski. So, I figured I'd get Kyle to come over and make me some food."

"Why would you want him to make you food?" asked Mr. Langley.

"I burn water." Kenny explained. "I destroyed my microwave a month ago because I wanted to see what would happen if I put pop tarts in it with the rapper still on them. So after that instant, Kyle decided never to trust me again with cooking appliances." Kenny said simply. "So what I do is, buy groceries, and just have Kyle cook."

"What happened after that, Mr. McCormick?" asked Ellen.

"I went home and hit the bong." Kenny explained. "I was really having a good time, too, but then all of a sudden, I got really creeped out. I felt sort of scared, and confused as to where I was. I figured I was having a bad experience with the weed, and decided not to smoke any of it any more. I called Kyle, and I asked him if he could come over to my house. He told me not to worry, everything would be fine. He said he was dealing with another situation right now, and I asked him what. He told me that Cartman was in trouble, and said his car had been stolen. I convinced him to leave Cartman alone, and go to my house. I said everything would be fine in the morning, and Cartman would get his car back. I didn't know who had stolen it, I just knew Cartman is the butt of so many pranks." Kenny said bitterly. "So I figured his car would be returned to him soon. Kyle said fine, and came over to my house. I don't really remember what happened after I ate some soup that he made me. I just knew that my head was spinning very badly, and I was vowing never to smoke any weed from that jar again."

"Is it possible that you smoked weed from the stash Rezinski gave you instead of the stash Sydney gave you?" asked Langley.

"No. Rezinski's bag was vacuum sealed. He got it straight from a dispensary, and said he didn't like what he got, so he was selling it." said Kenny sadly. "I also know it wasn't his, because I gave the stash to the police, and they found out it didn't have his prints on it." he explained.

"So, what do you remember next?" Ellen asked.

"I don't." Kenny said bitterly. "When I woke up next, Kyle was gone. I know he had to leave so he could go to work. I felt so sick to my stomach, and just dizzy and gross." He observed. "I swore over and over I would never smoke that again." He said bitterly.

"I have no further questions your honor." Ellen said smartly.

"The defense has no further questions, your honor." Langley said as he watched Kenny take his seat.

"Prosecution calls Eric Theodore Cartman to the stand." Ellen said as Cartman stood up.

"Remember, Eric," Kenny said as he stood with Cartman.

"No talking!" shouted the judge as Kenny jumped.

Cartman walked slowly to the podium. He brushed passed the bailiff who touched his shoulder. They were the same height. Cartman felt a snag as he tried to walk passed.

"Oh, hey!" the bailiff said as he jerked sideways. "Static electricity." He said as he tried to unstick from Cartman.

His lips brushed against Cartman's ear. "Jus' tell the truth." The bailiff whispered softly. Cartman wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been paying attention. "They can't convict you." He whispered as he pushed Cartman forward. At that instant, Cartman actually recognized the bailiff.

"Do you swear to tell the truth…, the whole truth…, and nothing but?" asked the judge.

"Yeah." Said Cartman as he wiped his forehead. "I do."

"Please tell us your name."

"Eric Theodore Cartman." Cartman said robotically.

"Where were you on the night of March 12th, 2014?" asked Ellen smirking.

"I was alone at my house sleeping. I was very depressed when I found out my car got stolen, and didn't really want to do very much else." Cartman explained.

"Did you speak with Kyle on the night in question?" she asked.

"Yes. I did. I talked to him for a while trying to find out who stole my car. I was really kind of mad at him, because I wanted him to come help me with my problem, but he said he was going to go help Kenny. Kenny's always getting himself into trouble, and I figured he was in jail or something." He said bitterly.

"So what happened next?" asked Ellen smirking.

"I hung up the phone and went to sleep." Cartman explained.

"With no one to corroborate your story?" asked Langley as well.

"No." Cartman said sadly. "When I woke up the next day, I was visited by Kenny who told me that I was in trouble. Ike texted me too, with a threat." He said as he looked over at Ike.

"So, why was your hair found in Kyle's hands that morning?" asked Langley.

"I was framed." Cartman said sadly.

"Isn't it true you have a motive to hurt Kyle?" asked Langley. "Isn't it true that you have a very distinct hate for Jewish tradition?" he asked. "As well as interest in the era of Hitler, and the Aryan brother hood?" he asked.

"I grew out of that!" Cartman shouted panicking.

"Isn't it true that you had made several attempts at Kyle's life in the past?" he asked.

"Yes, but—"

"—Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this man has made several attempts at the victim's life. So isn't it possible that he did this once again?" he asked.

"No!" Cartman shouted pulling at his hair.

"Mr. Langley, I would appreciate it if you didn't intimidate my witnesses." Ellen shot bitterly as she grabbed Cartman by the arm. "Please go take your seat." She said to him.

Cartman was crying as he walked back to his seat.

"I would like to call Mr. Kyle Broflovski to the stand, please?" she requested.

"This case was over before it started." Langley said softly. "Just tell him to plead guilty so we can all go home."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, and all that stuff?" asked the judge bitterly.

"Yes." Kyle said as he looked at the floor. "I do."

"Name?" Ellen asked.

"Kyle Gerald Broflovski." Kyle said bitterly.

"Where were you on the night of March 12th, 2014?" she asked.

"I was at my house for a while trying to have a relaxing evening. My parents had gone on vacation, and Ike and I just wanted to relax." He said bitterly. "But Cartman called me and told me about his car. I told him to just relax. I said someone would return his car tomorrow morning. Cartman's always getting pranked. He did do a lot of things in the past that result in him being pranked on a daily basis. So, he said he was going to try to relax. He tried to get me to go over there, but I never got a chance to decide that. Kenny called me soon after I hung up the phone with Cartman, and told me he didn't feel well. He said Sydney gave him some weed that Cartman gave her to give to him. But Cartman doesn't smoke. Kenny told me he thought the weed was laced with something bad. Asked if I would go over to his house and take care of him. Prevent him from doing anything stupid. I said yes. So I headed over to Kenny's house, and stayed there for the night. I woke up and knew I had to get ready for work, and I left for my house. I got a call from an unknown number, and figured it was Ike or someone calling me from my parents' hotel. Turned out to be Sydney. She was calling me to threaten me."

"Are you sure she wasn't calling to look out for you?" asked Langley.

"Yes. I am sure she wasn't."

"We have evidence that says otherwise." Said Ellen looking at Kyle pointedly. "Please keep going, Mr. Broflovski."

"I was on my way home, when she told me that homosexuals are targeted more frequently than straight people."

"Why would she tell you that?" Ellen asked.

"I came out to her six months before the accident and told her I was gay." Kyle explained.

"Are you?" asked Langley.

"Yes." Kyle answered. "I was about to walk up my drive way, when I heard rustling of bushes. I felt an arm wrap around my waste, and I felt the worst pain in my throat, while I also felt a rag being pushed against my nose." He explained.

"What happened after that?" asked Ellen.

"I woke up and thought I was in someone's basement. Kenny, or Stan or something."

"The first thing you shouted out when you awoke was Cartman's name." Langley pointed out. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I thought he had pulled a prank on me. I really thought I was in his apartment, or Kenny's, or something."

"Isn't it possible that you knew it was Cartman who had knocked you out, and you were identifying your killer?" Langley asked.

"No. I wasn't aware I was in danger." Kyle said smartly.

"Has Eric Cartman attempted to hurt you before?" Langley asked.

"Yes." Kyle said softly. "But he never hurt me. He always got caught."

"Isn't it possible that this time, no one was around to help you, and so he was able to carry out this vicious crime and place my client as the person who committed said crime?" he asked.

"No." Kyle said softly. "He wouldn't do that to me."

"I have three witnesses that say otherwise." Langley said bitterly. "I have three of his victims from when he was a child."

"You can't use that!" Kyle shouted. "Cartman was a kid! He was a spoiled brat! It's nothing like what he is now!" Kyle shouted.

"Mr. Broflovski, please keep going with your story.? Ellen said bitterly.

"As I was saying, I was able to deduce that I was somewhere unfamiliar to me, so I called out for Cartman. I thought maybe he had pranked me, or that I was in Kenny's apartment or something. I never imagined I'd wake up like this." He said pointing to his throat.

"No further questions your honor." Said Langley bitterly.

"The prosecution has no further questions your honor." Ellen said looking at her notes. "You may sit." She said to Kyle. "The prosecution will now present the evidence." She said as a group of people started to stand. "Detective Powers, please come show us what you have recovered after your examination." She said as the detective came up to stand with her.

"Your honor, I have here several exhibits that will show you exactly who and why the crime was committed." Powers explained. "I would first like to present exhibit A." she took out a mason jar as she spoke. "This jar contains the bag of Marijuana recovered from one of the witnesses. The marijuana was laced with PCP, which is a powerful hallucinogenic drug. In the wrong hands, it can induce paranoia, and hallucinations. Therefore, the person who consumes this drug may require assistance. Like Mr. McCormick received from our victim. This marijuana was recovered with one fingerprint in the plastic bag. The fingerprint was ran through our automated fingerprint identification system, and there was no match. This meant that no criminal in our databases had handled this drug. We failed to obtain a court order for the defendant's fingerprints, so we obtained them legally via her trash. And there was a match." She explained.

"Via?" Kenny asked confused.

"Shshsh." Kyle said bitterly.

"The weed was handled by the defendant." Detective Powers continued.

"Why would my client want to harm or incapacitate Kenneth McCormick?" asked Langley bitterly.

"I would also like to know this as well." Ellen said as detective Powers put the evidence down on the table.

"I also received items from Officer Stephens and his crew, and I found that I had enough evidence. I have here a glove," she said as she took out another see through bag. "which contains blood on it. There is a slash on the glove, and it contains two sets of DNA. The victim's blood is on the outside, and the defendant's blood is in the inside. This glove along with its mate were recovered at Mr. Cartman's residence in his mailbox." She explained.

She took out a third item. "This bottle of homemade chloroform was also found at the defendant's home. Her prints were found on it as well. We recovered her laptop, and found incriminating searches. How to make chloroform, what is chloroform, how to knock someone out, where to slit someone's throat to kill, and more searches with the theme of killing and/or causing injury to a person." She explained. "At the home, we also found PCP in her possession, and the same strain of marijuana that was in this bag." She said as she put the stuff down.

"I didn't know that the weed was laced. I got it from my roommate." Sydney said bitterly.

"That can't be true. We gave him a drug test, and he was clean. And all the materials were found in your room." Said detective Powers bitterly. "We also obtained the cell phone records of the defendant. She is shown at the scene of the crime for two phone calls. One to the victim at around four twenty two and the other to police at around four thirty one. Both calls used the cell tower near the victim's house. Which is strange, because the defendant does not live in South Park."

"Thank you, Ms. Powers. I have no further questions your honor." Said Ellen as the detective took her seat. "I would like to call one last witness." She said smiling. "Leanne Cartman, please come to the stand."

"Oh fuck." Cartman said softly next to Kenny.

"What harm can she do?" Kenny asked as he lay a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Do you swear to the oath?" the judge asked bored.

"Yes, I do." Leanne said as she stood up there.

"Legal name?" Ellen asked.

"Leanne Cartman." She said smartly.

"Did you speak to your son on the night in question?" asked Ellen looking emotionless.

"No. I hadn't spoken with him for a week. But I do check up on him from time to time, and I know he was at our house on that night, for the whole night." She explained.

"How can you know that if you weren't there?" asked Ellen smartly.

"Back when he was a little boy, the US started to try out VChips. Chips implanted in your child so that if you cuss, the child gets a minor shock."

"Minor? I still have emotional scars from the—"

"-Mr. Cartman, please." Ellen said patiently.

"As I was saying, after the war, and the world was back to—whatever normal is—I left the VChip inside him. But I found a way to hack it, and turn it into a tracking device." Leanne said smartly. "I log on to the website daily and check on my poopsy's whereabouts." She explained. "I have with me a copy of the map, showing where he was at what time during that very day." She explained. "It also has a URL so that it can be accessed anytime." She said as she handed over a piece of paper in a clear sleeve.

"Oh my god." Kenny and friends gasped.

"Why would you keep a tracking device on him?" asked Ellen reading everyone else's minds.

"My son is a very…, different person. He gets himself into trouble on a daily basis." Leanne said sadly. "I'm afraid it's my fault for lack of discipline. The point is, I knew one day this sort of thing would happen, and I decided to leave the chip in there for this very reason. Now that I'm not living with him, I worry." She said sadly as a ghost of a frown almost appeared on her face.

"Thank you." Said Ellen as the worried mother took her seat. "The prosecution rests."

"The defense may now call witnesses to the stand, or offer up any evidence." The judge said as he took notes.

"Can't we get a recess?" Kyle asked.

"I don't really wanna go out and play right now, Kyle. One of our friends is in danger. I would like a five minute break though." Kenny said bitterly.

"Shut up!" Kyle and Cartman both said at the same time.

"Order!" shouted the judge as he banged his gavel. "We will recess after the defense has said what they need to say." He explained.

"Stupid defense." Kenny muttered.

"The defense calls Scott Tenorman to the stand." Said Langley as the audience gasped.

"I'm doomed." Cartman said as he looked on in shock as the red head walked up to the stand.

"Do-you-swear-to-tell-the-truth-the-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth?" the judge asked. The words tumbled out of his mouth so fast it was almost unclear.

"I do." Scott said with a menacing grin.

"Scott, can you tell us, in your own words, what it is that Eric Theodore Cartman did to you when he was a child?" asked Langley.

"Gladly. When I was a teenager, Mr. Cartman and I got into a dispute. We were both kids at the time, and I wanted to play a joke on him. I sold him some pubes for an undisclosed amount of money, and he took them. He of course thought they would make him more mature. Not knowing that pubes had to be grown, not glued on. He wanted his money back, and I refused to give it to him. At the time, it was funny to me that he fell for my scam. Like I said, I was a juvenile. I really believed that he would get over himself, and I was going to eventually give him his money back. However, he kept trying and trying to get his money back. I just refused. Soon, he got tired of the games, and actually went as far as to get my parents shot and killed. He cut them up with a hack saw, and he…," Scott started as the memories came back to him. "he made them into food." Scott said softly. "He actually made them into food, and fed them to me. And the son of a bitch never got convicted for it, either." He said softly.

"Why did you feel you needed to prank him in the first place?" Ellen asked.

"Objection!" Langley shouted. "That is not the point! The point is that the person in question committed said act. There is no justification for it and for the lack of conviction."

"Your honor, this was a long time ago." Ellen explained. "What is this going to serve now?"

"We cannot let him get away with attempted murder!" Scott shouted. "He must pay for his crimes, he is no longer a child and cannot shield himself with that excuse any longer!"

"Please take your seat." Said Langley as he looked at the clearly frustrated Scott. "I would like to call Eric Theodore Cartman to the stand." He said as Scott sat down.

"Again?" Eric asked under his breath.

"Mr. Cartman, is it true that you once attempted to exterminate the Jews after seeing a film depicting Jesus at the cross?" asked Langley as Cartman finally stood in front of the judge and his attorneys.

"Yes." Cartman said softly. "I was a child at the time, and my views on life were very warped." He explained softly.

"Is it also true that on one occasion, you bullied a kid so bad he committed suicide?" asked the man looking at Cartman bitterly. "On one occasion you actually tormented a nanny so badly, she was sent to a mental institution for therapy? You also bullied a kid into sawing off his own foot in order to get out of a trap you set him in? Is this not true? The nanny killed herself, Mr. Cartman. The boy you made cut off his foot never fully regained the use of that limb. So isn't it possible, just maybe, that you did indeed attempt to kill the victim?" he asked.

"No!" Cartman said as he started to cry.

"Eric, have you done anything criminally bad in the last ten years?" asked Ellen as she tried to redeem the boy.

"No!" Cartman sobbed. "Or else my mom wouldn't have let me live in my house all alone!" he shouted. "I grew out of that! I did, I swear!" he sobbed.

"So then, why was your hair found at the scene of the crime?" asked Langley bitterly. "Why was your car found with Kyle's hair on the passenger seat?" he asked.

"Because I was framed!" Cartman shouted. "Kyle always rides shotgun when he rides anywhere with me!" he shouted. "So of course his fucking hair is going to be found on my passenger seat!"

"No further questions, your honor." Said Langley bitterly. "I now call Robert Meyers to the stand." He ordered.

The man came walking up to the stand slowly. When he finally got up there, the judge made him take the oath. After he did, Langley started to question him.

"Mr. Meyers, is it not true that you counsel the defendant for depression and other issues?" he asked.

"Yes." Said the man timidly.

"Is she currently on any antidepressants?" Langley asked.

"No, your honor. She disliked them and would rather just have the use of my services once a week for an hour. She also attends my group therapy sessions once a week for an hour and a half as well." He explained.

"Has she ever shown signs of being antisocial or psychopathic?" asked Langley as he looked into the man's eyes.

"No, sir. She does have a severe case of introversion, but we're trying to work on that." The psychologist explained.

"Do you believe in all the methods you use for therapy?" asked Ellen as the man looked over at her.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Do you believe that having a patient fill out some forms is a proper way to diagnose them, and give them treatment?" she asked.

"I…, I'm not sure."

"Don't you think that if you have a patient fill out forms and tell you about their life, they can lie, and fake their mental state in order to just get help with what they feel is wrong with them?" she asked.

"I never thought of it that way." Meyers said softly.

Langley looked absolutely angry. "Are you suggesting my client is faking her depression?" he asked.

"No, sir. But if the defendant were to only want to get help with her depression, she may not be clear with her therapist and tell them exactly what's on her mind. All her fantasies, and fears, and such. You wouldn't tell your therapist your homicidal thoughts if you just wanted someone to talk to about a problem with your mood." She explained.

"The defense has no further questions!" Langley shot as his face went red.

"The prosecution has no further questions, your honor." Ellen said smartly.

"Does the defense have any evidence to offer?" asked the judge.

"No, your honor." Said Langley bitterly. "The defense rests."

"There will now be a recess." The judge said as he stood.

The court room emptied out very quickly. The judge withdrew to a separate place to prepare the instructions for the jury. It was going to be a hard case.


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

"You all right, Eric?" Kyle asked as they both walked out to the cars.

"I didn't do it, Kyle. I grew out of that." Cartman said as he wiped his eyes. "Do you know what the law is if they convict me? I might die! Or worse, I might go to jail! For life!" he shouted.

"You would not look good in prison orange." Kenny observed.

"Will someone tape his mouth shut!?" Cartman shouted bitterly.

"Focus, Ken." Stan said coming up behind them. "I'm sure everything will turn out fine." He added as he leaned on the hood of Cartman's car.

"I just wanna get out of here, and go get food." Kenny said bitterly.

"Me too." Kyle muttered. "I'm gonna get pizza."

"If I get off, I'll buy you the damn pizza." Eric muttered.

"We have got to make it so he gets off!" Kyle said as he jumped up and down. "I want pizza."

They all went back into the court room a while later. Everyone once again took their seats, and there was quiet.

"Defense and prosecution will now present their theories of what happened during this crime." The judge instructed. "I will then give the jury the instructions, and they will be retiring to deliberate." He explained.

"Seriously?" Kenny moaned. "There's no time to be delivering things!" he moaned. "They have to decide if they want to convict Sydney!"

"Kenny, will you please just stop talking?" the judge asked bored. "What's wrong with him?" he asked Kyle.

"Dropped on his head." Carol replied bitterly.

"Each of you will be given eight minutes to explain your theory to the jury. No more no less." The judge said bitterly. "Prosecution?" he asked.

Ellen Baker got up and stood at the podium once again.

"The prosecution estimates that the following occurred on the morning of March 13th, 2014." She started. "The defendant was fed up with her attempts to get the victim back as her boyfriend failing. She needed to either get him back, or scare him into coming back to her. When this didn't work, she decided that if she couldn't have him, no one could. So, she stood in wait at the victim's home. She made the mistake of making the threatening call on her cell phone. This placed her at the scene of the crime. She threatened the victim, and when that didn't work, she pounced on him at approximately four thirty two A.M. She cut his throat attempting to kill him, but missed the most important arteries and veins. This means he lost a lot of blood as a result, but failed to bleed to death. She then called the police to steer suspicion away from herself, and got them to come and take away the body. Theory also speculates that while this was going on, she cut her hand on the murder weapon, and shed copious amounts of blood. Leaving her DNA inside the glove, and on the door and the steering wheel of Mr. Cartman's car. She took this stolen car which she had stolen the previous night, and drove it with incriminating evidence, to the club in Denver where it was found that day. She planted hairs from the accused at the scene, to make it look like Eric Cartman was the killer. She also laced a bag of weed with PCP and gave it to one of his friends to make sure suspicion of Cartman was surely the outcome." Said the lady as she wiped her face with a cloth.

"Are you finished?" Langley asked as he stood there with her.

"Yes." She said smartly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I believe the crime happened a little differently. I believe the night before the victim was attacked, Eric Cartman had finally masterminded the perfect plot. He snuck into the defendant's house, took a knife from her set, and made sure it was one she had already covered with blood in a cooking accident. He took a single hair from the defendant, which was later found at the scene, and planted it there to steer suspicion away from himself. The defendant called the victim, knowing he was in danger. She had been following the actions of Eric Cartman and knew he was up to something. When the victim was attacked, the strands of Mr. Cartman's hair were pulled out of his head, and ended up in the victim's hands. He went to get rid of his car, and the defendant arrived on the seen too late. She attempted to call the police thinking she was going to save a life. She was not aware she would later be accused of the attempted murder of the man she saved."

"Whoa." Cartman gasped. "Even I believed that one." He said softly.

"Wow, Eric. Why'd you do it?" Butters asked.

"I didn't do it!" Cartman shouted bitterly.

"The jury is now asked to withdraw and deliberate." Said the judge as he stood up with a paper in his hand.

This was the most terrifying part of the trial. The jury took two whole days to deliberate. They couldn't decide what the verdict was, and at times were stuck. The families and audience were sent home until further notice. It was one of the most intense waiting periods of the Cartmans' lives. But two days later, the verdict was read.

"Do you have a foreman to read your verdict?" asked the judge when everyone was assembled in the court room.

"Yes, your honor." Said a woman as she stood with the paper in her hands. "We the jury, find Sydney Coleman guilty of attempted murder in the first degree, and conspiracy to murder." She said as she handed in her paper. "In this document, you will find all signatures of all jurors as instructed." She explained as she stood there looking at her shoes.

"You may sit down." The judge said as he looked at the defendant. "Would you like to make a statement?" he asked looking at her.

"No." she said as she sat there white faced.

The sentencing took place that day. They decided to give her life plus fifteen years for the attempted murder, and the plan to hurt her x boyfriends. She had no possibility of parole. Cartman, his mom, and the rest of the group were all teary eyed as they left.

"What took so long?" asked one of the detectives as he stopped one of the jurors.

"We didn't take long at all actually. The verdict was reached five minutes into the meeting. We just didn't know if the judge would allow that to be. We were all afraid that he'd ask us to take longer. And then, some of the men were guilty because she was a black female. Then some of the women wanted the death penalty, but no. It was a mess." He said as they all walked out.

"I told you I didn't do it." Cartman said as they all got into separate cars.


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

That night after dinner, there was a knock on Cartman's door. As his mom went to the kitchen to do the dishes, he opened the door. It was Kyle.

"Hey, Cartman." Said Kyle as he stood in the door way smiling.

"Kyle." Cartman said as he looked down at his feet. "How you holdin' up?" he asked.

"Good. I came to see how you were. I knew you didn't do it, and I'm glad they didn't convict you."

"Yeah. I just had to tell the truth. Like Trent said." He said bitterly.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Didn't you recognize the bailiff?" Cartman asked as Kyle came in. and they closed the door. "It was Trent Boyette." He explained.

"Holy crap." Kyle said as they both sat down on the couch.

"I told you, I grew out of it." Cartman said smiling proudly.

Both youths came together in a hug. Cartman buried his hands in Kyle's hair, and just sat there, with the small Semite half in his lap.

Kyle just sat there, not knowing what to do. He felt a rush of warmth come up from his stomach and into his chest. He didn't want to move. Cartman smelled wonderful, and Kyle felt light headed.

"Kyle?" asked Cartman from far away. "Kyle?"

"Huh?" Kyle asked as he tried to put himself back together.

"You okay?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah." Kyle said as he looked deep into Cartman's brown eyes.

No. It couldn't be. Cartman was evil! Kyle could not be in love with Cartman. Besides, Cartman wasn't even gay! Or was he?

"Kyle." Cartman said softly. "You all right, bro?" he asked.

"Yeah." Kyle said as he looked away. "Now, quit crowding me, you stupid fat racist prick!" he shouted as he stood up and walked away. "I can't believe you just hugged me like that, what are you, faggy?" he asked.

"I was just trying to make sure you felt my friendship, you stupid Jew!" Cartman shouted as he too stood up. "You can't just take things as they go, can you? You always have to ruin everything!" he shot.

"I don't know why I even bothered to come here!" shouted Kyle as he headed to the door. "You'll never change."

From the kitchen, Leanne stood watch as Cartman walked quickly to where Kyle stood. With one swoop, Cartman took Kyle by the shoulders and pinned him to the door. Leanne wouldn't have believed it, but she was right there to see her boy give Kyle a long deep kiss. She stared in disbelief.

"I have to get home." Kyle said after the kiss was over. "Fat ass."

"Fine. Day walker." Cartman said as he opened the door and Kyle left.

Kenny was sitting on the couch looking at his TV guide when there was a knock at the door. He moaned as he got up. Who would dare interrupt him when he was about to sit down and watch _The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy_? It better be good. He hated interruptions.

He opened the door and smiled. It was officer Stephens. He had a pair of handcuffs in his hands. "What can I do for you, officer?" he asked.

"I was just down at the jail." He said as he stepped inside. "I asked Sydney if there was any specific reason she laced marijuana with PCP and gave it to you." He said as he closed the door. "She told me an interesting story." He said as he advanced on Kenny.

"Okay…." Kenny said as he stepped back. "So…, what?" he asked.

"She explained to me, that you are Mysterion." Said the officer as he looked into Kenny's eyes. "She said she gave you that weed to make sure you didn't hear it when Kyle got in trouble and started crying out for help. She was sure Mysterion would be there to ID her. So, I came to ask. Are you Mysterion?" he asked. "Because Mysterion works with the Park counties often to catch lawbreakers. And in doing so, he has had a lot of assaults on his record. We don't have proof of who he is, or we would arrest him. Vigilantism is illegal, and could result in a life sentence." He explained. "So, Kenny, I'm going to ask you once and for all. Are you Mysterion?" he asked.

"No. Who'd want to risk their lives running around like Batman in a purple suit and underwear over his head?" asked Kenny raising his eyebrows. "I have better things to do." He explained.

"Are you sure?" asked the officer. "Because if you do confess, we will have to arrest you."

"You have no proof of who he is?" Kenny asked.

"No." said officer Stephens bitterly. "We don't care enough to find proof, or link him to a real person in South Park. But I had to come and ask you, because Sydney told me that. So…, you're sure you're not Mysterion?" he asked.

"Absolutely." Kenny said as he straightened his expression. "I have better things to do with my life. I don't have time to get injured on account of some law breaker, just so I could help PCPD get people into custody." He said as he looked into the man's eyes. "Is that all you wanted? Billy and Mandy's on, and I really like that show." He said smirking. "I've gotta thing for Mandy." He said licking his lips.

"That's all I wanted." Said officer Stephens as he opened Kenny's apartment door and stepped out. "I'll see you later, Mr. McCormick." He said as he closed the door.

"Shit." Kenny whispered.

He sent out a group text message telling them all what had just happened. After that, he went into his bathroom, and threw up.

"Officer Stephens?" asked one of his partners as they drove away. "You're not gonna arrest Kenny…, are you?" he asked.

"We don't have any proof. Even though you and I both know our suspicions were right all along, we don't have any proof, Trent. And you know what, I'm not going to go after it. Mysterion is doing the city a lot of good. Illegally, but good all the same." Said the officer as they kept driving.


End file.
